Personal Fulfillment vs. External Validation: What’s the Difference?
If we’re talking about personal fulfillment… Have you ever done something that wasn’t “you” just because you wanted to impress someone else, when you really didn’t have to? It’s likely that the answer is “yes.”
As the question implies, there are certain situations where seeking external validation is unavoidable, and sometimes even necessary. One such scenario is in the workplace: You have to perform a task that isn’t something you would normally do, so that you receive your boss’ approval, and thus keep your job. Of course, if you are your own boss, or are working at a job that you really like, you may receive personal fulfillment from doing these tasks.
Doing things for external validation often enough can lead to blurred lines: How do we know when we are doing something because we really want to do it, or because we feel like, if we don’t, people won’t like us? It can also lead to fear around decision-making, or self-doubt, which means you won’t ever be truly happy or comfortable making decisions for yourself.
Needing constant validation from others often stems from the limiting belief that we aren’t good enough, or that the people in your life don’t really like you or don’t really care about you. At Shift, we can help. Using our therapy protocol (a unique mix of cognitive behavioural therapy and bi-lateral stimulation), we can help you to identify the limiting beliefs that are holding you back from being your own fabulous self, and give you the tools to succeed, thrive, and do things you really love.